I realize that I am writing about day 2 while it is, in fact, day 3. I am amazed that I am even writing this. I got a few hours sleep last night and I am energized and full of caffeine today. The energy these kids have is contagious. It really carries me through the day. It so nice being in a camp filled with adults who are prayer warriors. God presence is strong here and it is a great feeling and sometimes you can tell that the kids sense it too. That is a special time. When the kids realize that or at least get that feeling that the God we have been telling them about all week is in fact real and he is here right now. I get to be a part of that and it feels great. This is a chance to serve god is a real and tangible way. I may not ever see the fruit of the labor, but I know it will bear fruit and God will make the message we have laid out for these kids loud and clear.
I have had numerous kids ask me if I could be their foster dad or if I could adopt them, and it is so hard not to say "sure" or "yes", but its a lot more complicated than that and its just simply not how the system works. I have to reassure myself that God has a plan for their life and I am doing my part of that plan right here, right now. It is still heartbreaking to think about what might await these kids when they get home. I hope and pray that they have foster parents who will love and care for them as much as the people here do. I know that may not be the case, but It is still what I pray for.
Day three is upon us and we are a little tired, and a little worn out, but we push on. We draw upon the strength of Christ and each other. We act as a team and we be the best examples of Christ love that we can.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 1
Today was officially the first day of camp. At least camp with actual campers. TI started well enough and has continued throughout the day. What a wonderful day it has been. I am tired and my feet hurt. I am missing a chunk of flesh from under my big toe on my left foot. I have no idea where it went or when it came off. It feels like camp has been going on for 2 months, but its wonderful. I feel wonderful. I am excited and happy and joyous and happy and filled. I think that day 1 is so long because the kids try to do everything in one day, not really thinking that tomorrow we can do more and that will be repeated two more times. I literally spent 1.5 glorious hours in a pool. I don't think I got out a single time. It was awesome and fun and the kids came out glowing.
After the pool was the zip line and all four kids in the cabin went down the line. You would have to be here to know how much of a victory that is. That zip line scared me and these kids are jumping down this line with no fear. Of course, we were behind schedule, but its only day 1, oh well. Activity center was the first real big heart tugging memory well, it was the first after bus arrives. So I was just walking around to different activities and I see a child all alone at the shrinky-dink table. I thought that was weird so I went over and sat down with him. He looked up at me and asked me my name and then proceeded to just draw on the shrinky-dink. A few minutes later this child hands me his shrinky-dink and says this is for you. The first thing that hit was: WOW these kids are noticing. He knew I was there and he noticed me and he took the time to thank me for sitting with him in the best way he knew how at that moment. This was my first shrinky-dink gift from a camper and I have to say it will always be special.
The next "moment" came after activities. I was walking with a camper and he was asking small questions and then he starts telling me about his dad and his home life and He asks me about my home life as a child. Without going too much in details, we have lead very similar childhoods up until this point in his life. It was scary similar. God has put this child into my cabin for this very reason moment. Then he asked me a question that I really haven't thought about in a while. He asked me if I missed my mom. I had no right away answer. I thought and thought and I said, "Yeah I really do. I really miss my mom." his response was as casual as it gets he said, "me too." It was a moment. one I will not forget.
So I was waiting for the bus in the heat and it comes down the road and I get a very heavy heart. I am so very happy and thankful that RFKC exists. My heart breaks that there is even a need for RFKC. I have a very soft spot for little girls. I attribute this to the fact that I have two beautiful, fragile, precious little girls waiting for me at home. I see a little girl who looks just like Sydaleigh and I almost lose it. It was a struggle not to cry. I took a step back and had to compose myself. Who knows the horrors this girl has experienced? How could anybody not love this little person? It is so hard to not tell some kids, yes I will foster you or yes I will adopt you, but all you can do is be nice and smile and encouraging and let them know that there is love and hope and they can have it all. I hope and pray a day comes when RFKC has to stop because there is no longer a need. Until that day comes I will be here for these kids.
So tomorrow is a new day and a full day, unlike today. Tomorrow we get to swim the lake. I have an irrational fear of swimming in the lake, but I manage it and swim with the kids. It is dark and not so cold and t smells like dead fish, but the kids love it therefore I love it. I am including pictures of the lake obstacles that I need to overcome tomorrow and a picture of a guy we say on the way to camp. The green things in the bed of the truck are chainsaws. yeah that really happened.
After the pool was the zip line and all four kids in the cabin went down the line. You would have to be here to know how much of a victory that is. That zip line scared me and these kids are jumping down this line with no fear. Of course, we were behind schedule, but its only day 1, oh well. Activity center was the first real big heart tugging memory well, it was the first after bus arrives. So I was just walking around to different activities and I see a child all alone at the shrinky-dink table. I thought that was weird so I went over and sat down with him. He looked up at me and asked me my name and then proceeded to just draw on the shrinky-dink. A few minutes later this child hands me his shrinky-dink and says this is for you. The first thing that hit was: WOW these kids are noticing. He knew I was there and he noticed me and he took the time to thank me for sitting with him in the best way he knew how at that moment. This was my first shrinky-dink gift from a camper and I have to say it will always be special.
The next "moment" came after activities. I was walking with a camper and he was asking small questions and then he starts telling me about his dad and his home life and He asks me about my home life as a child. Without going too much in details, we have lead very similar childhoods up until this point in his life. It was scary similar. God has put this child into my cabin for this very reason moment. Then he asked me a question that I really haven't thought about in a while. He asked me if I missed my mom. I had no right away answer. I thought and thought and I said, "Yeah I really do. I really miss my mom." his response was as casual as it gets he said, "me too." It was a moment. one I will not forget.
So I was waiting for the bus in the heat and it comes down the road and I get a very heavy heart. I am so very happy and thankful that RFKC exists. My heart breaks that there is even a need for RFKC. I have a very soft spot for little girls. I attribute this to the fact that I have two beautiful, fragile, precious little girls waiting for me at home. I see a little girl who looks just like Sydaleigh and I almost lose it. It was a struggle not to cry. I took a step back and had to compose myself. Who knows the horrors this girl has experienced? How could anybody not love this little person? It is so hard to not tell some kids, yes I will foster you or yes I will adopt you, but all you can do is be nice and smile and encouraging and let them know that there is love and hope and they can have it all. I hope and pray a day comes when RFKC has to stop because there is no longer a need. Until that day comes I will be here for these kids.
So tomorrow is a new day and a full day, unlike today. Tomorrow we get to swim the lake. I have an irrational fear of swimming in the lake, but I manage it and swim with the kids. It is dark and not so cold and t smells like dead fish, but the kids love it therefore I love it. I am including pictures of the lake obstacles that I need to overcome tomorrow and a picture of a guy we say on the way to camp. The green things in the bed of the truck are chainsaws. yeah that really happened.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Day 0 RFKC
Today is the first day of camp, but since the kids don't arrive till tomorrow I call it day 0. In my opinion it is a little more nerve racking then actually having the kids here. It is an emotional time and to give you an idea about the things that are going through my head are: fear, excitement, joy, fear, and a whole host of things that i just cant seem to put a name on right now.
The kids arrive tomorrow and I have hopes and dreams and even expectations. I have tried to forget about the world outside of this place, but that is hard to do. I try to understand that God has put me into the lives of these specific children for a very specific reason, at this specific time. I pray that I can help cultivate a safe and healthy environment so that God can work. I am under no delusions. God does not need me to do anything in order for him to complete his work, but I feel that I need to do these things. I feel God wants me to do these things. I have a feeling that it is going to be a great week. A week of life changing experience. I hope and pray that I can help to plant a seed and that the seed I help to plant will grow and grow and become a life changing entity. I hope and pray that these children will be receptive and I hope and pray that the life they lead outside this place can not compare to any sacrifice on my part. The week of leave I lose can help to give life to a little person. Such a small sacrifice. I don't know that it can even be considered a sacrifice. I do it with honor and joy.
My prayer:
Father God, make my heart soft and help me be the servant that you desire of me. Help me to minister to these kids in any way possible, that I would be receptive to your spirit and have the courage, knowledge and peace to be everything to these kids that they need. Make me strong and fill me up to overflowing so that my cup may fill up those around me. I love you Lord and it is in Christ's name I pray....
The kids arrive tomorrow and I have hopes and dreams and even expectations. I have tried to forget about the world outside of this place, but that is hard to do. I try to understand that God has put me into the lives of these specific children for a very specific reason, at this specific time. I pray that I can help cultivate a safe and healthy environment so that God can work. I am under no delusions. God does not need me to do anything in order for him to complete his work, but I feel that I need to do these things. I feel God wants me to do these things. I have a feeling that it is going to be a great week. A week of life changing experience. I hope and pray that I can help to plant a seed and that the seed I help to plant will grow and grow and become a life changing entity. I hope and pray that these children will be receptive and I hope and pray that the life they lead outside this place can not compare to any sacrifice on my part. The week of leave I lose can help to give life to a little person. Such a small sacrifice. I don't know that it can even be considered a sacrifice. I do it with honor and joy.
My prayer:
Father God, make my heart soft and help me be the servant that you desire of me. Help me to minister to these kids in any way possible, that I would be receptive to your spirit and have the courage, knowledge and peace to be everything to these kids that they need. Make me strong and fill me up to overflowing so that my cup may fill up those around me. I love you Lord and it is in Christ's name I pray....
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